Joel Arnold
When I first became a father, I desperately wanted to succeed at family devotions. I gave it all of the creative energy I could muster. The battle of Jericho became a rambunctious march around a toy city. For the story of Samson, I tested my skills with toy blocks, creating a model of the Philistine temple complete with a Playmobil “Samson” stretched between two pillars. The results were memorable, boisterous, and time-consuming.
So time-consuming, in fact, that the predictable happened: family worship became a chore and the gaps between my bursts of well-intentioned resolve began to stretch longer and longer. Who has the creative energy to run a Bible circus every night of the week?
I discovered that high but unsustainable ambitions eventually lead to the worst outcome: nothing at all. In place of gimmicks, I needed to recover the most basic, critical elements. I needed to know the essentials of family worship.
In this article
Is family worship required?
If you try to find a passage that outlines Bible study for families, prepare to be disappointed. Scripture nowhere mandates the exact bundle of elements of
- a family gathered together
- to read and discuss Scripture
- on a daily basis.
This is quite sensible, considering the few in human history who were literate or owned a family Bible.
Nonetheless, the following considerations call for something like what family worship fulfills:
1. An exegetical consideration
Deuteronomy expects—even mandates—that families talk together about God’s mighty works.
These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deut 6:6–9 ESV; see also 6:20–25; 11:18–21)
Several things stand out:
- The context is a recognizable rhythm in family life—observing the annual Passover.
- The content to be transferred is from God. These are his words.
- Parent are to weave this teaching throughout every part of their family life, literally from their foreheads to their doorposts.
- This teaching seems rather intentional—even planned. When the child asks about these things (see Deut 6:20–25), is the parents’ answer a prepared speech, or simply ready knowledge, always available to be discussed? Either way, the interaction is purposeful and planned.
We, of course, experience some differences. My family has never observed the Passover. When asked, I will point to other great acts of God beyond the Exodus—especially the cross and the resurrection. Nonetheless, this passage gives us a helpful pattern.
Certainly a good amount of flexibility exists in how one might accomplish this. But, as a general principle, Scripture expects families to orient themselves around God’s great works in history, intentionally and deliberately weaving it into their lives and ongoing activities.
2. A practical consideration
The family is a community that involves sharing life and a stewarding influence. How many thousands of hours will I spend with my family? I’ll never be able to count the conversations. How could I share so much life with them but not share my faith? Will we eat, play games, and laugh together, but never worship together? Will I aspire for my children to love God, yet never take time to seek him together as a family?
We hold the power of influence through our example. My wife and I shape and amplify one another’s priorities by the choices we make together. My children absorb what we most love. They observe what delights us and how we use our time.
Add up the millions of daily micro-choices of how we steward our time—there you find the culture of our family. I live with a community of little “accountants” who run summary sheets every day, unconsciously tabulating and then assimilating my priorities into their own lives. In that grand, invisible accounting of time, how can I omit regular, focused reading of Scripture? How can I plausibly maintain that God’s priorities control ours if my family never looks at his words together or makes them the topic of our discussions?
Scripture may not outline family Bible study with specific steps. But God’s words ought to pervade every part of life—family included. This means regular, daily attention to what God has spoken.
Perhaps we could reinvent the way we incorporate the Bible into our family life and weave it into our home. Perhaps some other method would achieve this just as well. But I suspect that the end result will be approximate to the old, familiar practice of family worship.
Challenges and pitfalls of family Bible study
So why does it seem so hard, and why do we struggle? A few challenges and possible pitfalls come to mind:
1. Daunting prep
One father recently confided to me that as his kids grew and their questions became more sophisticated, he felt pressured to put in significant time to prepare family devotions. But at the end of a workday, who feels ready to prepare a mini-sermon, even several messages every week? Life gets busy; urgent projects crowd in.
The bulkier our expectations for family devotions, the more likely we will be to set them aside when the pressures mount.
2. A bully pulpit
Every family has problems. Family worship could seem like the perfect time to call out the wayward. But this can turn family worship into an ordeal. In the worst of cases, we remember to dust off the practice of family worship only when something goes wrong. “Uh oh, Dad just called everyone to family worship. Who messed up now?” The words “family worship” shouldn’t set off alarm bells that someone is in trouble and about to face public inquisition.
3. Moralism
Relatedly, we can be tempted to turn family Bible study into a series of moralistic seminars targeting character formation.
Naturally enough, we desperately want our children to avoid sin and mature in all kinds of practical ways. Most of us are grateful enough if we can maintain a reasonably orderly home and keep fights to a minimum. But our goals for spiritual formation ought to aim higher than having “nice kids.” True Christianity aims for nothing less than likeness to Jesus, and only worship can bring that about.
What’s more, most character needs are chronic. Growth takes years. So when the need of the day determines our topic for family devotions, we end up rehashing the same themes tiresomely.
4. The need to adapt
Children change fast. How do you adapt as your family matures? You need to adjust, but who feels like they can reinvent the entire process every few years?
Added to this, if you have multiple children, they can be at different levels of understanding. How can your time as a family be beneficial for all of them at the same time?
5. Busyness
But the biggest challenge I’ve struggled with is the most foundational of all. I want to develop family worship as a habit, not in fits and spurts. How do I simplify the process to incorporate it into the vagaries of busy family life?
Any of these challenges alone can make the prospects for success seem daunting. Combined, it’s no wonder that family worship is often relegated to that list of tasks we wish we were doing but only achieve occasionally. Are we doomed to this fate? Is consistent family worship something only a better version of ourselves could achieve but that our real-world selves only ever feel guilty about?
A simpler plan
The previous section was the easiest to write because it was taken from a fund of personal experience. Name a mistake and I’ve made it! But how do we move forward from here?
Perhaps we could reinvent the way we include the Bible in our family life, the way we weave it into our home. Perhaps some other method would achieve this just as well. But I suspect that the end result will be something like the old, familiar practice of family worship.
Several years ago, we found a routine that transformed our practice. It’s surprisingly simple and immanently maintainable. Here’s the plan:
- Read two to three chapters of Scripture out loud
- Have a simple discussion for 2 to 3 minutes
- Pray
Let me break each of these down in a bit more detail.
1. Read Scripture
Our practice has morphed over the years. In the early days, the adults were the ones to read out loud, and we read only one to two chapters. As the kids developed their reading skills, we invited everyone to read. We often rotated around the room. Each child read five verses. In narrative portions, we occasionally divided up as speakers—one reader as narrator, another as God, the others as individual actors in each chapter, and so on. While driving on Sunday morning or eating meals, we have often used an audio Bible such as David Suchet’s excellent reading.
But the more basic thing is that we simply read through the entire Bible, moving from Genesis to Revelation, while trying to be as consistent as possible. We might use a family road trip to move more quickly through harder sections of Leviticus, Jeremiah, or Ezekiel. When in the Psalms, we might cover several each day, whereas in Proverbs we might slow down to read the text more closely. When life gets busy, we find ways to incorporate the reading into other aspects of life such as travel or meals. But maintaining a fairly simple, daily practice has allowed us to read through all of Scripture multiple times as a family.
2. Discuss
For obvious reasons, discussions have morphed the most as our kids have grown older. In the early years, I tended to highlight a single idea for my children. Their interaction might include asking about a word they didn’t understand, excitement about a character they recognized, or the sharing of a related memory the story evoked.
But as the oldest enters his teens and the youngest establishes herself as a capable reader, much has changed. I generally start by asking what themes they’ve picked up from the reading. They might perceive a link that isn’t significant or they might catch a literary allusion and exegetical insight I had never noticed before. They regularly ask hard questions to which I don’t have immediate answers.
As contributors to the discussion, my wife and I also comment on things that caught our attention. But critically, the adults come to the reading as freshly as everyone else. Family worship is not a monologue or sermon. It is a group of fellow believers gathering around the Word. My wife and I are under its authority as much as anyone else present.
I never know exactly how the discussion will unfold. But I am regularly surprised and challenged by what we learn together.
Family worship is not a monologue or sermon. It is a group of fellow believers gathering around the Word.
3. Pray
Prayer is the component that requires the most work in our home. For far too long it was a mere addendum—something I tacked on by habit and because I wasn’t sure how else to conclude.
We’ve since learned that we all pray with more engagement and interest when everyone is involved. Now everybody prays for less than a minute, taking up a single thought. We might each thank the Lord for a blessing from that day, bring one request that is on our hearts, or ask for help to practically apply a concept from the passage we just read. Short prayers keep the time manageable, but they also force us to be thoughtful, intentional, and focused.
Even more possibilities
The above practices hardly exhausts the possibilities. Once the core is (re)established, room exists for including other elements. We have worked through a hymnal, singing two new songs each day. We’ve created conversations around theology by discussing the New City Catechism. Some families recite the Nicene Creed or discuss one of the classic confessions. Others incorporate Scripture memory by reciting bite-sized portions together daily.
It can be helpful to link family Bible study to other daily events, such as morning routines, meals together, or getting ready for bed. Alternatively, some families prefer flexibility, such as using time in the car together.
But the most important elements of Bible study for families are
- keep the time compact,
- put the text of Scripture at the center,
- and invite each family member to participate.
Keep these in mind, and I suspect they’ll address many of your challenges.
Conclusion
Psalm 128 offers an agricultural picture of a flourishing family—eating the fruit of one’s labor, a wife “like a fruitful vine,” and children “like olive shoots around your table” (v. 3 ESV). Psalm 1 further enriches the picture: as we mediate on the law of the Lord “day and night,” we prosper “like a tree planted by streams of water” (vv. 2–3 ESV).
Together, these two psalms provide us with an inspiring vision for family Bible study. A family gathers around the Word, meditates on it together daily, and in so doing, they prosper.
However you establish a routine that fits your family’s needs, it’s an effort worth making, one that will bear enduring fruit.
Looking for resources to guide your family worship?
On family worship
- Everyday Talk: Talking Freely and Naturally about God with Your Children by John Younts
- Training Hearts, Teaching Minds: Family Devotions Based on the Shorter Catechism by Starr Meade
- Family Worship, 2nd ed. (Family Guidance Series) by Joel Beeke
- Family Worship: In the Bible, in History, and in Your Home by Donald S. Whitney
On hymns
- Timeless Hymns for Family Worship: Bringing Gospel-Centered Moments into Your Home by Joni Eareckson Tada; Bobbie Wolgemuth
- 40 Favorite Hymns of the Christian Faith: A Closer Look at Their Spiritual and Poetic Meaning by Leland Ryken
For children
- Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God by Bruce Ware
- Basics for Believers: An Introduction to Christian Growth by Jim Berg
- What Every Child Should Know About Prayer by Nancy Guthrie
- The Big Picture Family Devotional by David Helm
- The Apostles’ Creed: For All God’s Children (A FatCat Book) by Ben Myers and Natasha Kennedy
- The Ten Commandments: For All God’s Children (A FatCat Book) by Harold L. Senkbeil and Natasha Kennedy
Prayer books and daily liturgies
- Piercing Heaven: Prayers of the Puritans by Robert Elmer
- Be Thou My Vision: A Liturgy for Daily Worship by Jonathan Gibson
Helps for Bible study
- ESV Study Bible (Notes only) Crossway Bibles
- Good Book Guides (42 vols.)
- Knowing the Bible: Old and New Testament (47 vols.)
Recommended resources
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- Pray for Your Children: 3 Prayers Rich with God’s Word
- How to Teach Kids about God: Theology for Little Ones
- How to Teach Children about the Trinity (& How Not To)
- 9 Simple Ways to Engage Gen Z with the Bible
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